The death of berths

By B.R.

THINK Agatha Christie and the Orient Express. Or James Bond returning from Russia with love (and Tatiana Romanova). Or perhaps Tony Curtis in drag, wooing an unsuspecting Marilyn Monroe. Sleeper trains occupy a romantic corner of travellers’ souls.

But we are not quite fond enough of them, it seems, actually to ride them. This week, the Paris-to-Berlin sleeper pulled into an early morning Hauptbahnhof station for the last time. Competition from low-cost airlines has put paid to the service which has run, in varying guises, since before the second world war. Flying between continental Europe’s two major capitals, travellers have noticed, is usually cheaper than the €140 ($175) or so that the train charges; it is also always quicker than the 13 hours it takes. The result was annual losses of €20m on the route says Deutsche Bahn, the operator.

It is not the only overnight service that has faced difficulty. Elsewhere in the world, the Caledonian Sleeper, between London and the Highlands of Scotland, needs a large government subsidy to make it viable for the private firm now running the franchise. Several other sleeper routes in Europe, such as between Berlin and Amsterdam, have also hit the buffers. In America, too, long-distance, overnight routes are hugely unprofitable.

The reality of sleeper trains is not that of the art-deco bars featured in 1950s spy fiction. You are more likely to be sharing your couchette with a bearded man with a thunderous snore than with Daniela Bianchi. And actually sleeping on a sleeper, with its narrow bunks and thin walls, can be impossible without the aid of pills or booze.

And yet Gulliver would like to hope they still have a role to play for the business traveller. Stepping off the overnight from Inverness to London on a Monday morning and heading straight to the office, as Gulliver has done, can be an efficient use of time. After all one has to sleep somewhere; it may as well be in transit. And the bars may not be art deco, but they are certainly more civilised than sipping on a warm can of beer while strapped into a plane seat. What they really lack is luxury. And here the argument falls down. Unless an operator is competing against cruise liners and hotels for rich tourists, as the Orient Express or the Gahn train in Australia do, upgrading berths to an acceptable level for regular business travellers will also probably mean pricing itself out of the market altogether. Hence sleeper trains seem doomed to history. As Hercule Poirot might say, that is a shame, n'est ce pas?