I'm rich!

By R.L.G. | NEW YORK

WELL, perhaps not. The morning began with a bit of excitement in my inbox.

Michael G. Wooldridge Solicitors

21 Shirley Road,

Acocks Green, Birmingham B27 7XU

United Kingdom

Hello [R.L.G.]

I am Michael Wooldridge, Sole executor of late Mr Joel [ my last name]'s estate. Joel was an independent oil dealer who lived and died in the UK but had businesses in Pakistan and the Middle East. He left a total of £3.8 million in deposit and bonds, held in a Pakistani bank (Bank Alfalah). Since his death in 1998, I have tried to locate his extended relatives whom shall be claimants/beneficiaries of his abandoned personal estate and all such efforts have been to no avail. More so, I have received official letters from the bank last week suggesting a likely proceeding for the confiscation of these abandoned personal assets; in line with existing laws.

On this note, I decided once more to search for a potential family member (however distant). I need your consent to present you as the next of Kin to his estate. I have documents that would confer you legal rights.

Feel free to call me for fuller briefing +44 787 228 2330 or send me your contact number and best time.

Best regards,

Michael Wooldridge (LLB)

Senior Partner

+44 787 228 2330

Goodness! I never heard of great-uncle Joel G., but apparently he did quite well for himself. This came in through our official Media Directory e-mail link, so it wasn't an ordinary bit of spam. It addressed me by name. It mentions a relative with my surname. Google seems to confirm the existence of a real solicitor in Birmingham named Michael Wooldridge. Could I really claim my £3.8 million just for answering this e-mail?

Of course not. This is better executed than most Nigerian spam, but Nigerian spam it is, as confirmed by the Nigerian origin of the IP address that was logged by our system. The writer has taken care to improve this miserable little pitch (Google "Michael G Wooldridge solicitors scam" to see earlier versions of it). However, it was not written by a highly educated native speaker of English, much less one experienced with legal correspondence. A little exercise for readers: tell us why, from the howler mistakes to the little things that tipped you off.