The magic of Bob Herbert

By W.W. | IOWA CITY

I READ this Bob Herbert column first with incredulity. "As the throngs celebrated in Cairo," Mr Herbert begins, "I couldn't help wondering about what is happening to democracy here in the United States." Because, really, nothing on Earth is so important that it should keep our minds turning immediately to the only subject that really matters: us. Thus, when we encounter the first exhilarating steps of an oppressed people struggling toward popular self-rule, we simply can't help wondering about democracy here in the US of A.

Then I read it again, with annoyance. Mr Herbert wanted to say that American democracy is broken because it's been hijacked by the rich. This is one of approximately five columns liberal pundits phone in when they are uninspired or feeling lazy. Not that you can sleepwalk through a phone-in! Oh, there's work to do. First, you've got to find a piping hot news hook. This can be accomplished by staring at the headlines until you run across a word that also appears in one of your ready-made gotta-get-to-brunch op-ed templates. So, let's see... Egyptians have cast out a dictator in hopes of one day establishing a democracy. Democracy! Rich people have hijacked our democracy! Then it's just a matter of peppering the thing with au courant Pavlovian keywords: "corporate stranglehold", "Citizens United decision", "Koch brothers". Finally, one must summon the energy to loop back to the hook. "The Egyptians want to establish a viable democracy, and that's a long, hard road. Americans are in the mind-bogglingly self-destructive process of letting a real democracy slip away." Boom! This is is how they do it in the bigs, folks.

None of this is to say that worries similar to Mr Herbert's about the undue influence of money in politics are unworthy of a careful substantive response. I started this post intending to offer such a response. It just turns out that this particular column's paint-by-numbers roteness slaps you in the face so hard that I couldn't help concluding it doesn't merit one.